Life coach Kendra Davies was once lost in self-doubt. Now, as the CEO of Stellar Life Coaching, she takes her clients from surviving to thriving.
On a scale of one to 10, how satisfied with your life would you say you are? If you’re like most people, there are probably a few areas you would like to change. Perhaps it’s finding a job you can truly thrive in. Maybe it’s establishing deeper relationships with others. Or maybe it’s maintaining the motivation to make healthy changes. So what’s stopping you?
So many of us want to live authentic and meaningful lives, and no matter how sincere our desire, or how much we ‘know’ it is necessary, we just feel stuck … somehow incapable of breaking through to that meaningful change. These subconscious blocks often manifest in our lives as thoughts that tell us we’re not worthy enough or that there’s no point because no one will ever accept us. Then our present moments are often consumed reacting to fears that are actually based on the past, and the high cost of these blocks are our time, personal growth, and joy.
Kendra Davies, CEO of Stellar Life Coaching, believes that the secret to transforming the way you live, love, and do business is to identify and understand the limiting beliefs that are holding you back. Only then can you begin to define and cultivate the life that you dream about and take decisive action to make it a reality.
The Power of Positive Psychology
Davies didn’t exactly have a typical childhood growing up. She struggled with depression and drug addiction, dropped out of high school, and spent a long time battling self-doubt. Eventually, therapy helped pinpoint the root of her pain, and she was able to get her life back on track. This inspired Davies to delve deeper into how the mind works, and that was when she discovered positive psychology.
Positive psychology is the scientific study of the factors that contribute to happiness, well-being, and fulfillment in life. Unlike many other branches of psychology, it doesn’t focus solely on negative thought patterns and behaviors. Instead, positive psychology focuses on changing perceptions and using innate strengths and positive attitudes to produce authentic happiness.
In 2013, after more than four years of study and application, Davies launched Stellar Life Coaching with the mission of changing people’s lives through the transformative science of positive psychology. As her client base grew, so too did her explorations into the human mind. In 2016 she completed her Bachelor of Arts in Organizational Behavior, graduating as valedictorian of her class at Rollins College. She is now a renowned speaker, and positive psychology practitioner and coach, with more than 15 years of experience supporting Fortune 100 businesses.
By helping other people break through their limiting beliefs, reconnect to their power, and take massive action in their lives, Davies is fast becoming one of the leading life and executive coaches in the U.S. “Positive psychology is my passion,” she shares. “And with my coaching, I am in a position to implement the most effective ideas and practices of it.”
“Deep, lasting change can be tricky to cultivate”, Davies says. “Many of us are tempted to seek out a quick fix, but this rarely produces lasting results. If you really want to change your life, set your focus squarely on building your self-awareness and learning how to challenge the beliefs and fears you have about yourself and others.”
“When we believe that we’re unworthy, it doesn’t matter how much good we get in our lives, we’re still going to feel unworthy unless we address the belief itself,” she says. “It’s in everything you say to yourself, like – ‘I’m not smart enough, I don’t do enough, I’m not funny enough, I’m not attractive enough.’ That’s a belief, a thought that becomes a pattern, and affects your feelings, and drives your behaviors.”
Therapy tackles some of those issues, and in some cases, it is necessary. Life coaching, on the other hand, is how we uplevel our living experience from surviving and thriving.
In her online goal-setting workshop Slay Sessions, Davies helps her clients connect with their inner growth and take ownership of their lives: just as she did herself.
‘Slaying’ is no ordinary goal setting. Davies teaches women and men to not just set goals but to align who they are with what they want and build a clear plan on how to achieve them. Along the way, she helps cultivate the purpose-driven growth mindset necessary to follow through. “By taking ownership and becoming aware of the very things that hold us back, we create the opportunity to change and evolve,” she says.
“When we make those thoughts visible, they can be examined, questioned, and challenged. It can shift a thought as simple as ‘I am an angry person’ to ‘I feel angry.’ In that moment, you have taken an unmovable, negative belief about yourself that you used to believe as a fact and confronted it with something truthful. You are not your feelings – you experience your feelings.”
“Now, imagine being able to shift from, ‘I am not worthy’ or, ‘I am a bad mom’. That is powerful.”
For many clients, this kind of shift marks a new lease of life; the beginning of a powerful transformation. Some, however, may want – or need – to dive even deeper. And, as Davies herself has discovered, sometimes true change begins when we share our struggles and our wins with other people who are in the arena with us.
And that’s what her Phoenix Retreat is all about.
The Power of Community and Support
Held in idyllic locations such as Costa Rica, Bali, and the mountains of South Carolina, the Phoenix Retreat takes that personal and spiritual work to another level.
Each retreat is designed to get right at the heart of self-doubt, confront fears, and challenge limiting beliefs, leaving participants with a renewed sense of self-worth and a deep connection with themselves and others.
“We purposely keep the groups small so everyone gets fully focused individual support,” Davies explains. “We are not just challenging the old thoughts and beliefs, we are consciously creating new ones, and then integrating them into our bodies. We build and really strengthen those new mind-body connections through a variety of intense transformation coaching, yoga, and kundalini breathing exercises.”
Davies’ clients range in age from 26 to 67. They include mothers, business owners, and executives. Yet, they all have a similar plight. “They either don’t have the life that they want, or they have everything that they’ve always wanted, and they still feel unworthy and disconnected from the joy in their lives,” Davies says.
Numerous studies have indicated that community is intrinsic to the healing process. Strong social support opens up opportunities to share, listen, and grow. Being among a like-minded community is shown to be an important factor in reducing the functional impairment suffered by those with depression. It’s also associated with a greater likelihood of recovery and a reduced risk of developing post-traumatic stress disorder.
“It is often in relation to other people that we experience the most pain, hurt, and trauma. In order to address those wounds, and really get at the core of what is holding us back, we need to heal in relation to others as well. And there is immense healing in knowing you are not alone and witnessing other people overcome what you thought was impossible.”
For Davies, it’s all about helping her clients shed the layers of armor they’ve acquired over the years, and discover just how powerful they truly are. “What I love about the Phoenix Retreat is getting into the soft center of the work with these women. We sit in discomfort. We let go of the judgment and shame, and really get curious about our thoughts, feelings, and our lives, and we learn to love the parts of ourselves that we had given up on, that we believed were completely unlovable. And we do it together..”
“It’s beautiful and inspiring to watch these women transform right before my eyes,” she says. “They get really specific about what they want to feel and have in their lives, and then translate that into action, and a passion for living they couldn’t have before.”